Years ago I sent an email that was a 'coming out' of sorts, me bearing my soul letting everyone on my list know that I was born with all these psychic abilities. That email was the scariest email I had ever sent.
See I was convinced that everyone on my list would unsubscribe when they found out that I saw auras, could heal with energy and was an empath, not to mention the whole talk-to-my-guides thing. I'd built up this idea since I was a child (and in many past lives too… but I'll save that for another email) that it wasn't safe to talk about, that people would persecute me, lock me up or just generally shun me.
I was so scared but I hit the 'send' button anyhow and then I waited. I watched the numbers obsessively, waiting for the mass exodus, for the comments and emails to come back telling me how shocked people were, for me to never get another client ever again.
And I waited.
Convinced that the email must not have gone out correctly I called a friend and asked her if she received it and it went a little like this...
Her: "It was a good email. I always love reading your emails."
Me: "That's it? Nothing about how shocked you are to find out your friend is a crazy woo-woo freak?"
Her: "Why would that be shocking? I've been friends with a crazy woo-woo freak for years…"
I thought I had so cleverly hidden those aspects of myself so that no one could see ME. This coming out was a big deal for me because letting that light shine felt so risky and vulnerable. I'd built up stories around what it'd mean to me to be seen as this spiritual person.
What I had overlooked is that my true nature was already shining through, seen by those willing to look at ME.
Fast forward to this past Friday. I hop on the phone for a recorded interview with my coach, Rich Litvin, and 2 of my closest friends, Allison Crow and Marilyn Rodriguez. As we dive into the coaching Rich talks about what a powerful person I am and how he can't wait for me to really start owning that. Funny enough, I'd been talking with Allison and Marilyn about that already last week, about what it would look like if I could really OWN my power.
Loads of tears and snottiness (on camera btw… yay), I'm talking about what showing up as powerful really means to me. See my story and fear is that I'll love everyone and everything if I really show how powerful I am.
To which Allison says "You have this mystic image that standing in your power looks like Superwoman in her underoos. But it's not. It's just you who you are right now." And it all starts clicking in place, and I'm reminded of that email years ago.
These people on the phone with me already see me as powerful because as much as I try to dim my light and not be seen this way, I just am. I'll say it again… What I had overlooked is that my true nature was already shining through, seen by those willing to look at ME.
The best Ah-ha moments are those in which we don't get new insights, it's when the lessons repeat in front of our eyes, where we say 'duh'.
We can no more hide our power than we can hide our eye color. It's obvious to everyone you encounter, why deny it?
Who are you to shine? Dude… you're ALREADY shining.
Where are you 'leaking' your true self into the world but simply not recognizing it?
Where are you hiding behind the stories of rejection when in fact you've been accepted this whole time?
SHELF HELP... those online classes we buy to get "better" that we sort of look at and then file away on the virtual shelf only to buy the next....
Writing isn't a natural form of expression for most people. Even though many try, there's a difference between a someone who writes and someone who expresses themselves through the written word. It's not in the vocabulary or grammar, but the emotion put behind each word. Real writers "write drunk and edit sober" as Hemingway once said. They expose their heart and soul on the page, pens dripping with the visual emotions of the prose.
They might write with an agenda. They might write because they want to. It might be short or it might be long. It might look like scribbles or be neatly typed and bound.
One thing is certain however... Writing for these people is not optional... for it is through this expression that their true self journey is experienced.
I know because I write.
Magic isn't something that happens "to" you or "around" you. It's not something you can wait for... Sitting in anticipation for some fairy godmother to come wave her wand.
If you want magic, you have to be willing to CREATE it. Dust off your own personal wand and wave that sparkly stuff all around. Its in YOU.
We are at the halfway mark of 2014. In January, I created a magical list of things and emotions and experiences I wanted to create this year. Some are already in progress, some are complete, some haven't even started.
What's present for me right now is a need to release some old things that weigh me down... some old programs and groups, some old patterns I've outgrown, some literal extra weight I've collected. It's time for me to escape by myself for a day and reboot, create a deep-seeded vision for the remainder of the year.
Check in with me here... what do you need to release and what do you want to create for the remainder of the year? What do you really, really want?
This week I'm going through all 15 issues of iCoach Magazine and revising them, getting them ready for publication in iTunes. It's been an interesting journey to mature in my role as a publisher and as an author.
That first issue... I literally woke up one day with the message to publish a digital magazine. I didn't know how the hell I was going to do it - but I took the leap. Within a month the first issue came out. It was filled will affiliate ads and I forgot completely to even put an article in myself. In fact I did that for several of the first issues... one of the things I will be changing as I revise them - removing the ads and adding my own take on the topics. I've never really been into affiliate marketing... it's not my thing. I just didn't know what I didn't know at that point. I was doing what I 'thought' a magazine should be.
I'm getting into alignment with ALL of the issues now. The benefit of creating a living document right?
People often ask me how I've gotten such amazing people to be on the covers. It's simple - I asked. Some I met at events, some I've asked people who are connected for the introduction, some I've simply emailed. The answer will always be no if you don't ask however and I had nothing to lose. In fact I ASSUMED the answer would be no... I believe that releasing my expectations of an answer has been my greatest gift in the process.
I've been reading through my past articles as well, and have really seen how I have progressed in who I am and how I show up in the world. I have grown past the formulaic way of writing, allowing my soul to create the words and direction. I've stepped up my internal game with leaps and bounds.
Our next steps?
Continue diving deeper and deeper with my wonderful new collaborators.
Continuing to find amazing cover coaches who love to play with us.
Publish on iTunes this month, a long time dream
And at the end of this year... Amir, Karen & Marilyn and I will be publishing a book together, taking our articles, elaborating, refining and going as far as our hearts will take us.
So what would you like to see in the magazine going forward? How can we support you? What topic would you love to be immersed in? What's next....?