I just got off the phone with a gal who has spent tens of thousands of dollars hiring business coaches to learn how to build her business the 'formula' way, with the big program launches and write this letter and build the list, etc.
Thing is - she's one of the rare few that it actually worked for, well sort of. Her business took off financially for sure. She got on the line with me at her appointed time and immediately went into how her 5th VA in 2 years just quit on her and that she needed to launch this group program in a big way but didn't have the time because she has all these clients and she can't take care of the admin stuff AND a launch and it was time to take her business to the next level but she didn't want to change her website because the SEO was working and on and on.
Her stress level was quite high.
I told her I didn't really care about her messaging or her SEO or her next launch. She got a little confused, "Aren't you a business coach?". "Yes, yes I am. Let's just talk a little bit more." She talked, I listened and asked questions. Little by little she told me about how toxic the situation with her last coach had been. How her friends who hadn't been successful were in pain, were belittled and questioned for 'not doing the work' and how her success was only because she leaned on a lot of outside assistance rather than on this premium coaching program. She's an energy worker and this more-is-more model was just wearing her out. And as tears started for her she finally said it - that she was happy with the money she was making but she hated her business.
The thing that was most jarring to me was the shame she felt around picking the WRONG coach. How much shame ALL of her friends were feeling...
So I ask, how will you know?
How will you know the coach you choose to invest in is the 'right' coach for you?
I've made poor investments. I've been fooled by carefully written webpages. I've been fooled by ninja sales techniques. And I've felt the shame of hiring the wrong coach. It sucks. All that money and time invested only to feel worse about myself in the end... I just didn't know what I was REALLY looking for.
For many new coaches who have yet to experience being on the receiving end of a powerful coaching call, any coaching feels like MAGIC. All the promises and people saying that they know YOUR path seem so real.
We put our hopes and dreams into the hands of that coach.
AND that's not what a truly powerful coach would ask of you.
You'll know they are right when they don't presume to know your answers for you. When they can see how powerful YOU are and call you forward into your own strength, not by asking you to follow them like a guru but by taking your hand and exploring it together. You will know intuitively with your whole heart that this is where you next level of expansion lies. You'll know because they are in full integrity with their message... there are no parts of it that feel out of alignment. You'll know when they are willing to be vulnerable with you and show themselves that they will hold nothing back. You'll know because they give 100% into the relationship and expect you to bring 100% as well. You will know because they won't ever TELL you what to do. You will know because they are willing to take the time to create what it is you want to create.
So I'll ask again, how will you know?
And let's follow that up with how will your clients know?
I got so frustrated today with the online coaching industry. I got so angered by big names calling forth authenticity and then having people sign waivers that say if the program doesn't work for them they won't ever talk about the failure or they will be sued. I got pissed off for the shame felt by people having to actually HEAL after leaving a coaching program meant to build up a coaching practice.
I've had one client after the next over the years come to me after signing onto these big name programs who literally hate their business. They come to me with niches and carefully crafted elevator speeches and can't frickin' figure out why they aren't succeeding. And they have decided that it's their fault it's not working.
We have to literally go through a detox period, where we have to rebuild their business from scratch, the same one they just spent thousands of dollars to create. And once we do this a HUGE weight is lifted off their shoulders, like they are taking their first real breath in a long time.
You might be one of those on the road to recovery, if you've been damaged by empty promises of slick marketers... I was there, on the dark side at one point and I've worked my ass off to find a new way, one that feels really effing good.
You might not feel ready. You might still need to recover and heal, and that's okay.
Just know that some of us have made it through to the other side and it's filled with magic and rainbows and technicolor unicorns that actually exist, and chocolate, lots of chocolate. No lies or shallow waters...
AND if you're ready to stand up and make the changes in yourself, your business and in the industry as a whole, now is the time to join my Revolution. You and me baby...
Let the UnTraining Begin!!
If you've been with me for any amount of time (or you simply look at my header) you'll know how much 'ICK' I feel about models and formulas. That one size fits all solution to coaching just doesn't juice me up.
Those business courses are great if you want to start an internet marketing company or start a local store. AND when I launched into coaching, I wanted something different, something meaningful and powerful and transformation-full, not some watered down standard version of authenticity - I mean does that even make sense to be authentic AND follow a step by step guide to BE authentic? But that's all I found... so I dove in anyhow.
And as I delved deeper into my coaching practice and it became more and more successful, I started seeing more things that felt out of alignment with my dreams.
I saw training courses and certification courses and business building courses and abundance and money courses - all touting Models and Methods and yes, Formulaic ways of packaging up my natural talent of being a coach into a standardized box called 'ME'...
My inner maverick wanted to run the hell away as fast as my little out-of-shape legs could take me, I realized that what I REALLY REALLY wanted was to have someone mentor me and show me not how to JUST build my business, but how to be a freaking magical amazing coach and create change around the world and profit while doing it. Not in the 'do it this way' manner but in the 'this is your talent, let's see where it takes us' way.
I WAS SEEKING AN UNTRAINING SO THAT I NO LONGER THOUGHT OR DID WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING.
What I found was MY path to mastery that looks like no one else's. I found my inner trust in my intuitive nudges and I started following the stream to make the deepest changes in my clients that I can create.
As I look back on my journey I realized that what I was focusing on, which was being the best coach I could be, was all I ever really wanted. Not the x-figure business or the photo of me standing in on the beach with my arms in the air. My dream was to simply coach people.
And that's when my business truly started to take off. Not when I was trying to be terribly clever in my marketing but when I started mastering my craft.
So I sat back and realized that there's a deficit in our industry - of people trying like hell to teach the 'HOW' but not of people truly taking others by the hand to mentor them and draw out our natural ability to be awesome coaches and turn the volume waaaay up on that.
BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO START A FREAKIN' REVOLUTION.
Let's STOP taking standard training and classes and spinning our wheels and let's START actually becoming more and more badass at our craft.
Let's build our businesses from a place of MASTERY rather than throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks.
Let's be DONE with following other people's paths and light our own internal flames and trust our own paths and our own ways.
Let's hire our INTUITIONS as our business advisors and coaching partners and allow Source to guide us.
Let's let Love be our guide and Badassery be our path.
I'm inviting a few people in to mentor with me, to dive into their own natural coaching abilities and polish them, find ways to make their coaching more powerful and more loving and more magical and more awesome.
I'm looking for a few people who KNOW in their hearts that Coaching is their Purpose and they are willing to dedicate themselves to truly mastering their craft.
I'm looking for people who want to take their businesses seriously.
I'm looking for people who don't want to have to sell or market or be anything other than themselves to build their business
This isn't some lame ass, mass produced certificate program that just gives you information then leaves you hanging - we'll be coaching, mentoring and building your business at the same time.
This is an INTENSE PERSONAL MENTORSHIP for those who simply want to become mythical, transformational, magical, spiritual, money-creating, change the world badass coaches.
I'm looking for Revolutionaries... And the applications are open as of right NOW. Either email me or go read more details here.
Loving you all!
"Prodigies dazzle us with their virtuoso violin concertos, seemingly prescient chess moves, and vivid paintings... Their performances are hard to explain from a purely deliberate practice perspective. While it’s true that many prodigies receive support, resources, and encouragement from parents and coaches early on, such support is typically the result of a demonstrated “rage to learn" - excerpt from Scientific American
When I first became a coach it's because it felt so natural. I was the one who always gave the powerful insights and advice to others in my life. Coaching was what I was meant to do. I may not have been a prodigy but I'd go so far as saying I had the natural ability to become a great coach... and in many ways I'd say I was a really good coach right out of the starting gate.
AND I know now that there's a difference between someone who just goes on natural talent verses someone who takes the time to nurture their abilities.
See the difference between a naturally good violinist and a prodigy is this demonstrated "rage to learn".
It wasn't enough for me to be a really good coach. I knew that I needed to get to the point in my coaching where I knew without a doubt that if you sat down with me, something in your life would never be the same, some shift would happen that would give you chills.
Becoming a more skillful coach made it easy to build my practice and create abundance.
Mastering my craft allowed me to start charging more and more for those conversations.
And it only happened because I was willing to challenge myself past the edge of my own natural abilities. The prodigy becomes so because they are driven to know more and do more and immerse themselves in their passion until it fills every piece of their life. If you've ever seen a prodigy in action they practice and stretch the hell out of themselves each and every day.
They hire teachers and coaches and mentors, they read books or solve problems or sit for hours at the piano, pounding away at songs that can only be learned through repetition and focus.
We are all born talented.
We all have the ability to master anything we choose to.
Is it enough for you to be really good?
Or do you want to become an effing magician?
"Leaders don't create followers, they create more leaders." -Tom Peters
Today I created more leaders and I and breathing deeply. For 2 years I have built up iCoach Network, I've posted there every day, I've ready EVERY SINGLE COMMENT, I've approved and welcomed each of the 1,058 members.
But I knew changes needed to be made and that perhaps I wasn't the right person to change things up. It wasn't broken, it just didn't feel in full alignment with who I am today vs. 2 years ago.
So I invited in 3 new administrators... ones I love and respect, ones who 'get' where I want to take it and will exceed that with their powerful awesomeness.
There's a part of me that feels so relieved to be sharing the responsibility and the stage. I'm excited to see what they will bring to the table. I'm excited to mentor them behind the scenes to communicate more powerfully and lead with their hearts and stand strong in the face of whatever comes up.
And there's a part of me that is discombobulated by the change - how will the routine of my morning look now? How will I show up knowing there are others I want to nurture and guide and share the community with, MY community. There's the joy of sharing and there's the worry that they'll not play with my toy properly.
But that's the point right? I want them to mess up my toy and play with it differently and find new ways that my imagination didn't think of. We're starting a new grand experiment... and at the end of the day, it feels more fun than scary.
Just gotta breathe and congratulate myself for coming this far with my own feet, and sit back for a little while and watch the magic happen...
"Any time I meet a coach who doesn't have a full practice I ask if they have ever invested money in their own coach. Many (too many) coaches have not.
No wonder they struggle to create a thriving practice - they don't believe in investing in their own coach but they want their potential clients to invest in one." -From The Prosperous Coach, chapter 63
It's one thing to watch and study.
It's entirely different to experience.
I've experienced the shelf-help classes that you listen to once and go 'wow' and then put it away only to move onto the next.
I've experienced the conferences where you walk away with a cotton candy high but very to sustain me.
I've experienced VIP days and retreats and weekend long workshops that knocked my socks off.
I've experienced being sold to.
I've experienced deep coaching that rocked me to my core.
I've experienced 'meh' coaching.
I've experienced and hired spiritual coaches, business coaches, general life coaches.
I've been on the receiving end of just about every business model in the coaching industry.
It is through these experiences that I've built my practice and become the coach that I am. Many of these have become models for how I refuse to play. And some are models of my greatest good.
I have never needed a coach (although I have had coaches who made me feel like I did. I fired them). But I CHOOSE to hire the most powerful coaches I can because I know that my life's work is to be continually up-leveling ME. I can do it on my own, and I can do it more effectively with a coach.
My first coach cost me $700 for 6 months. At the time I thought it was an outrageous amount of money to invest in someone who was simply there to help me be happier. But there was a calling in my soul, that this was my next level. This was 7+ years ago and it was from her that I first felt the siren's song for coaching… that $700 was life changing for me in that one simple insight.
I've hired myself a coach ever since. It's a non-negotiable for me.
When I made that first payment to my current coach Rich, I had a complete panic attack, on the floor crying, wondering how I could spend that much money on something I didn't need. AND I was willing to do what it took to create the funds to make that happen because I KNEW I wanted someone in my corner who would challenge me, who would see me as the magnificent being I am and wouldn't let me forget it, who would hold a space for my higher success.
I am in conversation all of the time with coaches who tell me they can't afford coaching. Perhaps that's true for them… but I couldn't afford ANY of my coaches and I still hired them, each time gaining valuable insights that helped piece together my successes.
My fellow Ambassadors are some of the most BadAss people I know and guess what? They all have coaches. That's not why they are BadAss - AND I'm sure they'll tell you that it's why they've allowed themselves to show up that way.
If you're a coach, be coached. Experience what it's like to cry and laugh and grow while being held by someone powerful. Do what it takes.