We can teach ourselves to breathe deeper
We can teach ourselves to hold our breath longer
But no matter how much we train, we must always, always exhale
And if we fight the exhale we pass out
But if we allow ourselves to exhale then we open ourselves up to inhale again, naturally
The more intuitive we become, the more ideas flow through us.
We say we're following the 'feel good' and leading with inspired action and that's awesome .
But are we doing that thing where we hop around from thing to thing, never fully sinking our teeth in the meat of the inspiration?
Frenetic intuition isn't useful.
There's a natural balance to not just planting the seeds but also nurturing them, growing them, giving them a chance to take root. The Universe has a really poor turning radius, it can't change directions like a dime, so if you're busy changing directions every 32 seconds it'll be a bitch for it to keep up with you and give you the very thing you're manifesting.
And then there's the other piece...the energy of the incompletions on the list, hanging over you, things you really want to do but just aren't.
I get it - we follow the inspiration, but there's a balance to it, a magic dance between the being and the doing. When we hold onto things and don't do them...when we don't write the book, launch the class, train for the marathon, start the diet, create the retreat, paint the painting or whatever it is, we tie up energy in limbo-waiting for us to follow through.
So here's the challenge...what are you NOT completing right now? What ideas would you really like to do but...? Either take them off the table or start them. Holding them in stasis doesn't serve you and it's taking creative energy away from what you will follow through on.
There's a sweet spot between being and doing...
I came back from an Intensive this weekend completely drained. In fact the last several weeks have been extreme emotionally. In really great ways and in horrific ways. Fast forward to this week however and I had NO 'DO' left. I shut everything off.
Yet this week something else happened. I filled the last spots in a couple of programs. I got a huge download for my next book. I created a very generous baseline income for the next year so I have space to write and not create clients at all if I so choose. In fact so many things all seemed to be in massive movement even as I laid not moving on my couch.
My friend Allison looked at my results "You're on fire!!"
I had to pause...because I'm the very OPPOSITE of on fire right now.
I'm just reaping what I set into motion when I WAS on fire. I'm happily accepting the harvest of what I've sown. Now I can be comfortable and surrender into the quiet snail pace I'm feeling because I took inspired action when I felt the desire. I'm not scared that I'm not in action right now.
I set myself up to enjoy just 'being' when I need to and I trust myself to act when I'm inspired to. There's a sweet spot where we can all float effortlessly between the two, a balance and ease to honoring our own rhythms.
Trust that I know when it's time to move again and that I will do so.
Trust that the inertia of those moments will see me through in the moments when I don't have the urge or inspiration or energy.
Trust that the Universe will carry on if I allow it to.
Trust that I can kick some serious ass when it feels good.
I'm still moving in energy that feels like a snail's pace.
These past few weeks have been an emotional and energetic roller coaster.
So I'm taking it easy on myself.
I'm allowing the grumpies, and the tireds, and the generally out of sorts to be okay. I'm not caught up in the doing. Monday I shut everything off (even my family couldn't reach me). Tuesday I turned on the computer to 100s of notifications. I ignored most of them. Today I peeked my toe out for a bit and then exercised and sat on my couch.
In the past I would have fought those down moments. I would have searched for answers of how to get myself off the floor back into 'flow'.
I didn't - and something funny happened.
While on my back my programs filled with the last couple of beauties, and in fact they over flowed making me think that another few spots will need to be opened up.
I received 3 applications for coaching.
I had HUGE insight into my next book and started outlining it and connecting with it at a deeper level.
I started a new exercise program that incorporates meditation and visualization.
I finished reading several books.
I washed a mountain of dishes because my son and husband were unsupervised last weekend.
I ordered some custom jewelry and 20 more copies of my books because I gave all of mine away and 100 egg cartons to give away some of these damn eggs filling up my fridge.
So in the surrender, magic still happened.
I still feel fragile and exhausted. And life still moved around and through me.
Again: In the surrender - magic still happens...
Leaning into the quiet space between action and lying on the floor in inaction the past few days...The slow drip drip drip of flow that feels painstakingly slow.
So I've been doing 'other' things while I wait for new inspired action to hit. Somewhere in what I thought were the doldrums, I started seriously working on my next book, taking little steps like the first real outline, just beyond the sorting of the stories and the visioning. This is the space where it starts to take form.
Because this book is about Active Surrender which is exactly where I am right now.
And the book is flowing so seamlessly out of THIS space.
The download I received today while mapping it out just floored me however, as I finally can sense it's about more than just talking about surrender.
Want to hear what I heard?
The 7 Chakras of Surrender...I looked at the topics I was mapping out and there they were, all 7 chakras represented. What would it look like to fully trust yourself in each area and then surrender to the energy of it? Where is it in your body or in your energy field that you need to trust more, surrender more, be in further alignment with?
I surrendered to the void and as a result I heard the voice and message I most needed to hear...and I'm so FREAKING EXCITED! because it's no longer just a book, it has that something special message that hasn't been done before in this way (necessary for my Change Maker to come on board right?).
Pouring myself into this and we'll see what else comes up!
I'm feeling very quiet...as if even the whispers of my soul have gone silent, into a slumber. Spent the weekend with too many people, beautiful people but too many of them. Now I'm in the silence, needing to be alone even from myself.
This is about surrender.
Because the first thought is that this isn't normal, that I need to DO something to not feel this way, that I need to hop back into life.
Because the second thought is that I was doing so well in flow and now nothing and I can't sit here in nothing mode, worried that this will last a long time instead of a day or two.
Because the third thought is that I don't want to leave my house ever again.
Because the fourth thought is that I'm being a bit dramatic.
Because the fifth thought is that - it's all flow. That even right now, I'm in flow, excruciatingly slow drip drip drip flow, but flow nonetheless. That there's nothing to fight, the pace just slowed way the fuck down. I just dropped off of a waterfall so this feels uncomfortable compared to the joyous glee of the past month or so.
I can't force the flow to be a waterfall.
And I can float in the lake at the bottom.
I can be gentle with myself.
I can allow myself to not judge and just be.
I can be okay with recuperating and cocooning.
This is about surrender.
And the sooner I surrender to this space, the easier it will be to stay in flow.
So if I'm quiet, know that I'm here...perhaps ignoring my feed and my emails and all of it...surrendering to the sweet silence of my retreating soul.
Ever create something that didn't FEEL right?
Ever create something that DID?
When we were designing "Your Inner Council" we went through several designs. They were great and we could have stopped on round one and been totally happy. But we knew they weren't quite right...they weren't quite there.
When we hit the right one, we got tears and confirmation - "that's it. That's the one."
I'm being called to write the next book, and it's not the one I'm currently writing. It's the scary one, the one I'm not sure if I CAN write. But I can feel it's rightness. I know it's there. I know this is the one.
So it's easy to ignore and just do the book that I'm in the middle of.
It would have been easy to publish that first design too.
We've been trained to do the logical next step right?
As an Intuitive holding up the banner for a new movement though that'd be out of alignment. Oh no-gotta follow the nudges down the scary ass path that hasn't been paved yet don't you? All because you got this little nagging in the back of your head, this light being held in your heart, you gotta jump ship and follow the pretty shiny download? #sarcasm
Here's the thing though-I also know that the path will be the easiest, if not the smoothest, to really walk down. Don't follow the logical, follow the divine. Don't do what's expected, do what's necessary in your soul.
Walk the talk friends.
Intuitively living requires the soft touch of a velvet glove wrapped around iron resolve and dedication to doing things that don't always make sense.
Off to download my new book....
I don't normally share my newsletters here...but this one was emotional and I talk about the roller coaster of Love and Loss and knew I needed to share it here too. It's a long read-writing is how I process.
Are Love and Loss Really Different Messages?
Last week was magical & love filled as "Your Inner Council" was released into the world.
Yesterday was shocking as I was suddenly mourning the loss of a friend.
The emotional roller coaster I've been experiencing has been intense, both highs and lows.
Love is the core of both
Last week, Monday, I rolled out my book quietly to a few dedicated followers. These 'Book Angels' as I now call them got an advance copy of the book so that when we rolled out on Wednesday they were all ready to help me spread the word.
What I didn't expect was that on Wednesday 09-09 when 'Your Inner Council" went public, those Angels showered me with love and praise. I only posted 1 post on Facebook and all day long the post was shared and reposted and new posts kept popping up. There were reviews on Amazon being given with 5 stars. It was bringing tears to my eyes to read the impact of my words.
Then it wasn't just my Angels in the game. It was YOU and my community. The outpouring was intense. People I didn't know congratulating me. I could FEEL everything. Every time a line was read and appreciated I could feel it.
I hit my upper limit of love over and over and over again.
Then the days after came. The let down... like the day after Christmas, like no day would ever top that release day.
Cracked wide open, I felt vulnerable. I felt the snap-back moment from having stretched so far to receive so much love. I was cranky and oh so tired. I collapsed emotionally, physically, spiritually and hid out for the weekend. I read some epic-fantasy magic novels and stayed in my jammies all day. I would feel myself coming back but I could still feel that after shock.
Monday I woke up feeling like I was ready to create again, feeling whole and ready to spread the love. Instead, I got the shocking news that a beautiful friend of mine was killed. Replacing the tears of joy and love, or the exhaustion of feeling so much I cried tears of a different kind of love, the tears of love lost.
While my heart was hurting I could only remember the love. I could only remember the love I had for him. I could only see the outpouring of people around the world posting photos of him with his big goofy awe-inspiring smile. I was surrounded once again by a tremendous amount of love.
That was his legacy. That love was something he gave and received every single day. He lived his soul's music out loud and created more love in the world.
And I realized something about myself...that the day I released my book and received that massive love, was also the day that I created my own legacy, that I was living it out loud.
See, every time we open ourselves to fulfilling our calling, our mission, every time we create, express, allow, we open ourselves up to love.
My friend Mark was talking about the lessons he's taking away from our friend passing and from other men he's admired, "These men are, for me, the embodiment of the phrase “Generous of Spirit,” because they gave without thinking. If you were fortunate enough to give to them, every morsel was the most exquisite gift. Even in receiving, they gave."
So love and loss are not so different.
When we live our lives 'Generous of Spirit' we create a place where love is the commonality in all things we touch.
So, thank you all for supporting my Release Day, for showing me YOUR generosity and your love. I hope that I can respond in kind plus plus and that some day in the very near future, your life will open up to receive it in spades.
If you died tomorrow...
I just lost a beautiful friend. And while I won't go into the shock and pain I feel in my heart I will take this opportunity to reinforce a message that my clients and I talked about last week... Don't die with your music still inside of you.
Let it out.
Release it to the world.
Love people and let them know you care.
Share your message.
Write the book or the post or the letter or the whatever you've been meaning to write.
Hug your family.
Release the pettiness and the inconsequential stuff in life because it just doesn't matter.
If you died tomorrow what would your legacy be?
It doesn't have to be big and grand...
But don't die without leaving it ALL on the table.
Everyday your heart hums a tune...let it OUT,
Because you never know when that is the last song it will play.
My friend did that... he gave joy and music and healing and love to the world all around the world every single day.
Every single day.
I hope to be half as awesome at walking this path as he was in walking his.
If I died tomorrow, could others say the same about me?
In tears wondering about what I'm putting off for 'later' and how that serves anyone....
So yesterday I was being supported via email by my spiritual coach... (big day today for me in case you missed it) and we were talking about how next week and then 2 weeks after I'm going to be in a room with a whole bunch of people and energy. I tend to go into energy overwhelm and feel everyone around me, to the point where for the first 24 hours all I want to do is cry.
So she said "When I work with a lot of people, either in person or on air, I just try to hold the idea of Oneness. We’re all One… so it doesn’t matter if there’s 150 Ones or 40 Ones… it’s all One:One."
I replied with a yes AND it is really overwhelming. It's so much all at once. And then she nailed me... ready for this reality bender?
"And… the thing is…
All that energy is always there.
You just don’t pay attention to it.
There’s no escape from Oneness, from this connection we have to everything, all the time.
So, you notice it in the room.
But in reality, you are always, always in that much energy, even if you are sitting quietly by yourself.
The good news is, we’re One.
The challenging news is, if you’re sensitive, you can’t ever escape the energy.
Even when someone reads your book, you feel their energy, their thoughts, their emotions.
No escape! Oneness 24/7, forever. "
FUCK... now all I can do is FEEL everything. I had no idea how many walls I had built up on my little isolated hill, pretending to be alone. We are never alone.
Today I'm crying as the outpouring of love is coming in from the release of my book. I can feel all of it. And even as I sit here saying that my heart has hit it's upper limit of how much I allow myself to receive, I know there's so much more available.... sending you all love back. Did you feel it?