AhHa or Duh?

Years ago I sent an email that was a 'coming out' of sorts, me bearing my soul letting everyone on my list know that I was born with all these psychic abilities. That email was the scariest email I had ever sent.

See I was convinced that everyone on my list would unsubscribe when they found out that I saw auras, could heal with energy and was an empath, not to mention the whole talk-to-my-guides thing. I'd built up this idea since I was a child (and in many past lives too… but I'll save that for another email) that it wasn't safe to talk about, that people would persecute me, lock me up or just generally shun me. 

I was so scared but I hit the 'send' button anyhow and then I waited. I watched the numbers obsessively, waiting for the mass exodus, for the comments and emails to come back telling me how shocked people were, for me to never get another client ever again. 

And I waited.
And waited.

Nothing. Silence. 

Convinced that the email must not have gone out correctly I called a friend and asked her if she received it and it went a little like this...

Her: "Yeah…"
Me: "So……"
Her: "It was a good email. I always love reading your emails."
Me: "That's it? Nothing about how shocked you are to find out your friend is a crazy woo-woo freak?"
Her: "Why would that be shocking? I've been friends with a crazy woo-woo freak for years…"

I thought I had so cleverly hidden those aspects of myself so that no one could see ME. This coming out was a big deal for me because letting that light shine felt so risky and vulnerable. I'd built up stories around what it'd mean to me to be seen as this spiritual person. 

What I had overlooked is that my true nature was already shining through, seen by those willing to look at ME.

Fast forward to this past Friday. I hop on the phone for a recorded interview with my coach, Rich Litvin, and 2 of my closest friends, Allison Crow and Marilyn Rodriguez. As we dive into the coaching Rich talks about what a powerful person I am and how he can't wait for me to really start owning that. Funny enough, I'd been talking with Allison and Marilyn about that already last week, about what it would look like if I could really OWN my power.

Loads of tears and snottiness (on camera btw… yay), I'm talking about what showing up as powerful really means to me. See my story and fear is that I'll love everyone and everything if I really show how powerful I am.

To which Allison says "You have this mystic image that standing in your power looks like Superwoman in her underoos. But it's not. It's just you who you are right now." And it all starts clicking in place, and I'm reminded of that email years ago. 

These people on the phone with me already see me as powerful because as much as I try to dim my light and not be seen this way, I just am.  I'll say it again… What I had overlooked is that my true nature was already shining through, seen by those willing to look at ME.

The best Ah-ha moments are those in which we don't get new insights, it's when the lessons repeat in front of our eyes, where we say 'duh'.

We can no more hide our power than we can hide our eye color. It's obvious to everyone you encounter, why deny it?

Who are you to shine? Dude… you're ALREADY shining.
Where are you 'leaking' your true self into the world but simply not recognizing it? 
Where are you hiding behind the stories of rejection when in fact you've been accepted this whole time?