We went to a live rugby match while in Dublin...Leinster vs. Glasgow. The crowd beforehand was so much fun and at one point while waiting on some food there was a group of men, arms slung over each others' shoulders singing.

I couldn't get a direct view (I'm not terribly tall) so I held my phone up high and hoped to capture what was happening.
Next to me was an older Irish man and when I brought my phone back down to see what I'd recorded he looked at me and said... "A bit vain are ye?"
Hoping I just didn't understand him and confused because I was filming a bunch of drunk men sing, I said, super intelligently, 'what?'

He said "Well it's a bit vain that, taking photos of yerself all the time."

And I realized that he thought I was taking a selfie, which to him was a terribly vain thing to do...I mean why would I want a photo of myself?

I laughed and showed him what I was actually taking a photo of, and he shrugged his shoulders and unapologetically turned back to his beer.

His bluntness did make me pause however, because in that moment, I felt embarrassed for every selfie I'd ever taken.

Until I realized - that his opinion, so bluntly spoken - was wrong.
For me.
We took selfies all trip long because sometimes we were up on the top of a castle wall and wanted a photo. Sometimes because we didn't want to hand my phone over to a stranger and ask them to take a picture of us. Plain and simple. We took them to chronicle our journeys.
That's not vain.
I realized however that I don't take many selfies not because I'm modest but BECAUSE I'm vain, because I never quite get my chin or lighting quite right or my hair or smile is off.

That's not to say that's the truth for everyone who takes or doesn't take selfies.
This isn't really about selfies.

IT'S ABOUT THE BLUNT BLACK AND WHITENESS OF OUR OPINIONS AND WHAT WE BELIEVE TO BE TRUE.
I have my own blunt moments where I clearly see the straight honest truth. But those are all MY black and whites. That blunt voice is judgement in it's purest form. Sometimes I disguise it as being "helpful", but really it's nothing more than my voice expressing my right and wrong of the world.

And yeah, it's simply my opinion or the opinion of some random man at a rugby match...and I don't mean to say 'stop being blunt' but it is a curious reaction right? The strait honest truth isn't always so truthful.
Can we be curious about that blunt voice inside of us, watching as it so clearly defines our day.

How are you filling your cup today?

I returned to my home from Austin at 1:49am Sunday fully expecting waking up early to take my son to rugby tryouts.
Hurry up and sleep.

We leave Wednesday am (shit... tomorrow) for a 10-day trip to the U.K.
Hurry up and get all the work done.
Hurry up and buy the last minute supplies.
Hurry up and clean and do laundry and unpack and then repack.

Cup looking a bit dry...
I cannot create a magical trip from empty.
Pause.
Accept hubby's offer to take the boy and stay home to nap and slowly clean and unpack and feel spaciousness. ReEntry.
Pause.
Everything that must get done will get done. Go meditate first.
Pause.
The extras on the list can float away. Play with the pups.
Pause.
If I forget to pack it, it can be purchased. Reframe to release the pressure.
Fill the cup.
Over and over.

YOU ARE ALREADY SUCCEEDING
 
We succeed 100% of the time because we are MADE with infinite abundance in our cells. We vibrate with Source energy all of the time.
 
ALL OF THE TIME
In EVERYTHING we do.
 
We succeed at everything we believe is possible for us. Every story that is rooted in our system becomes true.
 
That's right, we are already successful in whatever we currently believe because success is our natural state of being.
 
We create an abundance of what we currently believe 100% of the time.
 
INSTANTANEOUSLY.
 
We succeed 100% of the time.
There is evidence all around you.
 
READ THAT AGAIN - YOU ARE ALREADY SUCCEEDING AT WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND YOU'RE CREATING THAT IN ABUNDANCE.
 
So the question then becomes, what do you believe?
 
See the tipping point of creating a different kind of success and abundance is understanding that we're already creating it all of the freaking time.
 
It may not look like what you think success and abundance should look like... but it's there. We are walking, talking, breathing self-fulfilling prophesies.
 
Now pause - before you go into analyzing all the bad self-talk and rehashing all the other things that you're obviously doing incorrectly, know this....you've done nothing wrong here. You did not cause unease or sickness or struggle. You are not broken and do not need fixing. The Universe loves you.
 
AND it's time to recognize that you are a mo-fo success RIGHT NOW.
 
Notice the stories.
Notice the beliefs.
Nothing to fix here...neutrally observe them for the next couple of weeks.
 
Let out your light that's peeking out from behind your stories and shadows.
Don't work on them, just BE.
 
What shit can you turn into fertilizer?
How can you get back to your natural state of highest vibration?
What energetic process can you put into place so that you REMEMBER that you are successful at everything you believe, at everything you KNOW to be true?
 
Change the KNOWING - change the kind of success you achieve.
 
I'm not talking pretend belief - no fake positive affirmations or pretending you get this...I mean how can you root it deep in your bones so it's not even a belief but a knowing?
 
When you KNOW it to be so, and you KNOW that you are a Spirit Machine that instantaneously cranks out success and abundance of anything you believe....
 
Every thought, every action, every moment - your thoughts and beliefs create your world. Be a fierce editor of your life and energy.
 
You are already succeeding 100% of the time.

Contrary to all the hype about surrender and letting go and just relaxing into "it", actually surrendering is hard as hell. Yeah there are moments when I can totally surrender, like dipping into a hot bath and letting the water soothe you.
 
But there's more to it than that isn't there? I've been on a quest to really ‘get’ it, to live into it. And I've been searching for proof that it wasn’t just some fantastical idea of spiritual living but that it had practical applications in my everyday life. In other words, I've had to live more fully in a surrender state than I had ever allowed myself to do.
 
I followed the ‘feel good’. I recognized that I am always in flow, even when the flow is painfully slow. I started relinquishing more and more control over how I allowed myself to be in the world.
 
What I noticed however, was that SURRENDER WAS A RESULT, NOT A BEHAVIOR.
 
I couldn’t work towards surrendering more because it felt like something unattainable, a foreign concept, something my mind just couldn’t ever wrap itself around.
 
The behavior I found I most needed most to cultivate to be able to produce that state of surrender, was TRUST.
 
BIG ASS SHIT TONS OF THAT FIVE LETTER WORD... TRUST
 
That opened a whole can of worms in my life. At the core of every fear and dream, every failure and success, every relationship, every word written, every moment stolen, was trust.
 
Without trust, nothing happens.
 
Without trust, surrender is impossible.
 
I spent time consciously focusing on where I could trust myself more. Those trust muscles got a serious work out. Moments when I was in the doldrums, when I starting hearing my mind doubting that I would ever get out of it, doubting myself and my process and moments of great rapid growth and action when I trusted myself to step out of the fast pace before I burned out and crashed instead of worrying that I’d never be in fast flow again, moments when I said yes and moments when I said no and trusting that it was the right answer for me at that time.
 
It has been a lot of work. I've done a lot of deep breathing. I've taken a lot of blind steps. I've hired spiritual coaches and energy healers to help me clear out the blocks between me and my place of surrender. I've read and taken classes, all the while focusing on trusting more.
 
Ultimately, I've landed in spaces of calm. Trusting myself more and more, and trusting the Universe more and more became easier for my mind to reconcile once I began seeing the proof that surrendering actually gave better results than I ever had believed possible.
 
That’s the good stuff - where the more you trust and surrender, the more magic comes into being. And the more magic comes into being in your life, the easier it is to trust and surrender.
 
I was feeling it everywhere in my life. I started to see the areas where trust impacted me the most, the patterns emerging of where I needed to trust more and where my clients needed to exercise their trust muscles.
 
I started mapping it out, the areas where surrendering had the highest and best impact: Can you trust yourself to desire? to create? to be powerful? to love and receive? to be vulnerable? to be you? and ultimately, can you trust yourself to surrender to a higher purpose?
 
Want to surrender fully to the magic we are meant to create in this lifetime?
 
IT ALWAYS COMES DOWN TO TRUST
 
I can feel the fear.
I can feel the vulnerability.
I can feel the trepidation.
I can feel the doubt.
 
And if I don't trust myself, those feelings take over & I stay put.
 
I can feel the nudges.
I can feel the desire.
I can feel the power.
I can feel the elation.
 
And if I don't trust myself to follow those feelings, the feelings fade away & again, I stay put.
 
But if I trust I can surrender, and if I surrender, I can choose how to respond to anything. I can choose to have fear, vulnerability, trepidation, doubt and trust myself to move forward anyhow. I can choose to feel the nudges, desire, power, elation and trust myself to ride the wave to whatever they are leading me to.
 
There are days where I don't trust myself and I struggle. And there are days where all I do is trust, and magic happens.
 
I don't always know where I'm going, but I trust that I'll make it.
 
It's an active practice, and the more I choose to trust, the easier and easier it is to surrender because evidence follows.
 
What will you choose to believe? What will you truly trust?

You're going along and everything is flowing and then suddenly you stop. There's no more enthusiasm or drive, the project no longer excited you. All you want is a nap and a cupcake (that last one might just be me...).
 
Because you're self-aware and stuff like that you may immediately think "I'm blocking myself, this is resistance" or you may immediately believe that it's just not meant to be and the Universe wants you to pause while all the millions of tiny little converge.
One or both may be totally true.
 
But how do you know the difference?
 
Honestly, the only way to truly know is to be consistent with your inner connection - can you commit to connect with the project to see if it's in alignment each day...not to work on it harder but to see where it lands for you? External actions are merely reinforcements for your own inner work so if it's too much efforting, then something's out of alignment internally. If you're avoiding it, it's an alignment issue and yes, you're in resistance.
 
Commit to the alignment and the blocks disappear.
 
If everything feels aligned and good, then it's a sacred pause and you can stop over analyzing what's wrong with you and enjoy the breather.
 
YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BY HOW THEY FEEL. Take out the mental chatter and meditate on the core of what you're feeling. You're not broken because you need to check your alignment - that's just basic scheduled maintenance.
 
I've had months of sacred pause where everything was in alignment but nothing was moving so deeper states of surrender have been required of me. And I've had months of avoidance, resistance, putting my fingers in my ears while squeezing my eyes shut singing as loudly as I can. And in those times, I can be in choice to clear the pathway and do the inner work required of me.
 
So, before you blame yourself OR the Universe, connect with your highest self and ask, 'Is this resistance or is this a sacred pause'.

I remember what it was like to pretend.
I used to pretend a lot.
I used to pretend I wasn't some weird New Age psychic Empath.
I used to pretend that I wasn't hearing voices in my head telling me which way to go.
I used to pretend I was lost.
 
And I used to pretend all of that simply because I was being who I was expected to be. I don't really know who expected it but there it was, expectation.
 
And the desire to fit in.
And the desire to succeed.
And the desire to appear normal.
 
So I'd make up things that I didn't know just to have the opportunity to appear normal. I'd snatch up classes and books and all assortments of shelf help and smart business tools.
 
What I've discovered after being an Entrepreneur for about 16 years now is this... I KNEW EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW BEFORE I LOOKED OUTSIDE FOR ANSWERS.
 
"Your intuition will tell you where you need to go; it will connect you with people you should meet; it will guide you toward work that is meaningful for you - work that brings you joy, work that feels right for you." - Shakti Gawain
 
Yeah, about that. Work comes with some extra expectations on top of our personal ones doesn't it? Like somehow we HAVE to know more and be smarter.
 
I knew everything I needed to know before I looked outside for answers.
 
Because if I got quiet, my intuition knew exactly what to do next. If I had followed the small tiny little not-so-glamorous not-so-result-oriented actions that my inner voice was telling me to take?
 
I don't know what my trajectory would have been... but I know what it has been since I really truly started listening and taking the steps that don't make sense.
 
And they have been my most successful profitable and easy years.
 
So consider this during the week...
 
Are you really listening?

Welcoming The Sage into my book... the 9th aspect of ourselves. I find it a miraculous mirror of her when I coach, it's who comes into the room as I sit with my clients. Loving her beginnings >> 

"There's nothing wrong with you.
You don't have some mysterious blocks to your success.
You're not doing anything wrong.
You're not incapable or unworthy or any of those other things you've been tellingyourself. 

Perhaps there are some adjustments to be made.
Perhaps you're not seeing what's right there in front of you.

Because when I see you, I see someone who knows enough and is enough to create your biggest vision.
I see someone who is powerful and magical and awesome. 
I see someone thoroughly worthy and capable.

Take my hand... walk with me. 
See the possibilities through my eyes.

Explore
Experiment
Create

DREAM

I lend you my courage, I give you my heart, I tell you things no one has ever told you, I hold sacred space for you

For I KNOW that YOU ARE ENOUGH
For I have lived lifetimes knowing you, learning the curves of your consciousness, being intimate with your heart's desires, holding the deep well of your soul... waiting and nudging it into the world - one shiny piece at a time

Nothing to fear.
For I have seen it all and I know it all and I believe in YOU."

Tested... sometimes we are tested. The Universe asks me "What is your resolve? How much more can you stretch and expand?" Some of our greatest tests are how we respond to those who would teach us our greatest lessons... these are 'growth opportunities'. But you know, sometimes I get mad. Sometimes tears run down my cheeks uncontrollably. Sometimes I feel small and powerless. Sometimes it's not a lesson I really want to take on. Sometimes it's the same lesson with a different name. 

Those are the moments I know I need to breathe. To remove myself from my life and get grounded & refuel spiritually. And that's how I know that I've passed the test - not when I fly through the challenges without the emotions or tears or whatever comes up, but when I recognize the imbalance and pause long enough to recalibrate. 

Recalibration is tough. 

And, it's simply another test. Can I take the chaos in my life and still connect with my inner voice to write and create? I don't know but I plan on grading on a curve... 

What do you do to recalibrate? What tests are you going to dive into this week?