Because the First Thought is that this isn't Normal...

I'm feeling very quiet...as if even the whispers of my soul have gone silent, into a slumber. Spent the weekend with too many people, beautiful people but too many of them. Now I'm in the silence, needing to be alone even from myself.

This is about surrender.

Because the first thought is that this isn't normal, that I need to DO something to not feel this way, that I need to hop back into life.

Because the second thought is that I was doing so well in flow and now nothing and I can't sit here in nothing mode, worried that this will last a long time instead of a day or two.

Because the third thought is that I don't want to leave my house ever again.

Because the fourth thought is that I'm being a bit dramatic.

Because the fifth thought is that - it's all flow. That even right now, I'm in flow, excruciatingly slow drip drip drip flow, but flow nonetheless. That there's nothing to fight, the pace just slowed way the fuck down. I just dropped off of a waterfall so this feels uncomfortable compared to the joyous glee of the past month or so.

I can't force the flow to be a waterfall.
And I can float in the lake at the bottom.
I can be gentle with myself.
I can allow myself to not judge and just be.
I can be okay with recuperating and cocooning.

This is about surrender.
And the sooner I surrender to this space, the easier it will be to stay in flow.
So if I'm quiet, know that I'm here...perhaps ignoring my feed and my emails and all of it...surrendering to the sweet silence of my retreating soul.

Drip.
Drip.
Drip....