We were talking about this with one of my groups today and felt it powerful to share. It might trigger people... that's totally okay.
When I started with my last Spiritual Coach she said to me, we have one theme in our work together, and you're going to come kicking and screaming through this, but it's the one thing that has governed your life for lifetimes. That one thing is CONTROL. She said (lovingly) "You feel that you know better than God does in what your life should look like, so you try to control the very forces of the Universe. You imagine that you can decide when it's okay that Source knows best and when you know more. You assume that Spirit knows best except when you know better. When you don't feel that control, you justify it internally to say that you actually do."
She taught me that we do have choice in everything we do, in what we believe and in what feels true, but we do not truly have control over anything.
It was like 'now I'm going to meditate and I'm going to control how long I do it and what it looks like and in that moment it's okay to surrender'. It's like saying 'Hey Universe! I am in control - not you! I will tell you exactly what I want and then it's your job to deliver it to me." And honestly, that's kind of bullshit. I can choose what I ask for but I can't control how it's delivered. It's a big f-u to the Universe when I tell it I control it, because I know best.
No matter what I say or think, I'm pretty sure that I don't control the Divine.
I cannot control the world around me. The only thing I can do is accept that everything in my life is a choice. I try to control Spirit, to control Abundance. to control Security, to control my life and those around me, to control my flow. It doesn't work.
But when I see where I am working so hard to control things that are NOT mine to control, I can release all this energy I've been holding onto. See, I am not in control of anything other than the choices I make.
I can choose my thoughts and my thoughts create my reality.
There's such a HUGE difference between CONTROL and CHOICE.
Am I willing to question myself... is this me controlling the process or is this me showing up and making choices that support me? And can I allow others the same freedom of choice without the control?
What can I choose?
Where can I release my feeble attempts at control?
The more I dove into those questions the more miracles started to occur. The more I became a creator in my life instead of forcing and pushing and holding onto unrealistic expectations.
Listen, I'm not perfect - I still have control issues.
AND I keep taking my mind out of my decisions. I keep reminding myself that each moment is filled with choice. And choice gives me a place where truly I reign supreme... since clearly there's nothing else I am ever able to rule over.