Controlling Change

Big changes in my household and I'm handling it like I always do - I'm painting. Okay, I don't always paint but when things feel as if there is upheaval I usually go into nesting mode where I control the only thing that I am capable of controlling, which is my home. 

So last week brought a few biggies, my son broke his collar bone in football, he started Middle School and my daughter moved into her first apartment near her school.  Those are big emotional pulls. I mean the kids are growing up before my eyes and I'm one step closer to being totally alone with my husband - heaven help me! It's bitter sweet. I mean it's our job to raise the kids to be independent and we're doing a good job at that. Of course I will miss my baby girl and my boy is no longer a little boy so there's a sadness mixed in. 

But at the root of the issue, them growing up is something that I am not in control of - it's going to happen no matter what - and it leaves me feeling a little powerless. 

And when I start feeling like something in my life is out of control, I start cleaning, purging closets and cabinets, rearranging furniture, swapping out photos or painting rooms. We moved the girl out on Saturday and I was painting the boy's room on Sunday. Last week I cleaned out my closet and got rid of three huge bags of stuff. Next week I'm painting my daughter's old room (I already picked the color - it's a beautiful warm gray). 

My point is, there are times in life when things happen that are beyond our control. Our first instinct is to focus on the chaos and see if we can contain it and make sense of it and yes, to figure out if we can control it. We can't, but we try. If we let go of the need to compartmentalize and just feel the loss that's great, but I've found that unless I grab hold of my present world and dig into something solid I still feel like I'm careening out of whack. 

Focus on the things you can control so that you can let go of the things you can't.  

There are things we can control and manipulate. I give myself space to nest like a crazy woman because it gives my brain a place to relax and it makes me feel grounded again.  It gives me the space I need to process the changes occurring around me and to feel okay about them. I purge the kitchen cabinets and sometimes tears purge out as well. By fixating on the things in my present world it allows me to let go of the emotions caused my events beyond my control. Sorting through my old clothes gives me the strength to let go of the past. Painting a room helps me look forward to a new space, a new future filled with beauty and inspiration.

So what can you control when you are feeling totally upside down, running around with your hair on fire? How can you ground yourself so that the chaos around you is more manageable? Oh and if you need help then I will be completely selfless and offer up my garage for you to organize - it will totally make you feel better! 

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