One of my clients said to me that one of her biggest struggles was because "Life is really unpredictable and I'm not a spontaneous person". Deep breath there because you know what? She's right. Very few of us can go with the flow all of the time... most of us try to control the path we're on, change the course of our day, resist change and shy away from the unexpected. So today's blog was my response to her... I figured it could help a couple of you control freaks (like myself) out there too :)
Life IS totally unpredictable - there is absolutely NO way that it will ever meet your expectations. Sometimes I will go over a conversation in my head, one that hasn't even happened, and I expect a specific outcome and when the conversation happens it is always different. That's part of life. But it is unsettling. So here's something you can do that can start helping.
Set aside a portion of your day that is completely controlled and non-negotiable. It can be as little as 15 minutes where you know exactly what to expect and the results are the same all of the time. It's like a little routine, perhaps it's even one that you already do but don't notice. When I shower I do things in the exact same way every time - I wash my hair, then my face, then I put on my conditioner, wash my body, shave arms then legs, exfoliate my feet, rinse off the conditioner. It is something I can control. It's predictible and stable and steady. You probably have tons of routines that you do each and every day that you don't pay any attention to.
It's about the intention behind the little habits you have - instead of just going through the routines, do them intentionally and with purpose. Because here's the thing - life will always throw you curve balls so you have to have periods of time for your brain to feel in control, to know what to expect. And once you start intentionally giving yourself things that you control then the un-planned things are less jarring because you have basically created a nice solid stable core, a foundation where you know the outcome. You can say to yourself "I know that the rest of my day may turn out topsy turvy but right now I'm comfortable knowing what to expect."
In this way, our habits become the very things that set us free. So.... down below in the comments section, tell me about one route or habit that you do daily - you probably don't even think about doing it - and then do it today with purpose, like it's something special and see if that doesn't make a small difference in your day...