In New Orleans, the festivities for Mardi Gras start well before the public comes en-masse. Little local parades happen and confetti gets thrown, a barrage of lights and more colors than the rainbow all forced into your eyes at once, drunken celebrations hit the streets and you're accosted by the sounds of jazz and laughter and the smells of incredible food and sweet drinks that don't taste like the absolute danger they really are.
Wake up early enough and while the sun is rising, there's a different kind of chaos. There is an army on the street of sweepers and trash people, washing away the remnants of the joy so evident from the night before, preparing for the night of joy coming.
Most people at that hour are nursing their hangovers, sore from dancing, voices hoarse from singing, heads begging for water and an aspirin.
Memories floating around filled with memories of those hours of complete letting go of inhibitions and boundaries. All blocks removed open to the festivities.
Today is my morning after, the day after the first day of the book release. So many truly beautiful things came in. The chaos of my inbox and my FB notifications making this me feel like I'm in the middle of a parade, caught up in the energy of celebration and love.
It filled me with gratitude.
And the intense need for a nap lol.
This morning I'm faced with a different kind of energy...the hangover. To paraphrase my friend Lisa Berkovitz, 'Just how much joy can you handle?'. I found that out yesterday...having probably received more than enough to feel drunk on it.
Do I grab onto the wave and 'DO SOMETHING' with all the energy?
Because my mind is begging me to...
Do I collapse under the love and attention?
Because my upper limit is feeling the need to...
Do I slow the fuck down and live in gratitude and meditation and receive whatever more needs to come out?
Because my spirit would love to do that...
We will see who wins.
Because at the moment they are doing an inner battle and no one is a clear winner...I know what I 'should' do (what my soul craves) but the other two are so damn strong this morning.
Perhaps a nap first. While I just got up I'm feeling so tired already. Maybe when I wake up for the second time I'll be able to eat some more soul food....
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