Self Help Rehab

I'm a huge supporter for learning new things and taking courses and reading books to continually fuel my fire. I try to do it daily to stay in an inspired, creative place. But every once in a while I notice myself going through a 'grasping' period. These are times when I become a serious addict - listening to multiple free webinars and ordering a plethora of books, sometimes to the point that the things on my to-do list are set aside. And then I get on a huge high and seriously start thinking about signing up for just about every single program out there because I 'need' it to get to the next level of my business or life.  I  feel as if I don't have enough knowledge inside to succeed and if I spend a few hundred or even thousand dollars (that isn't in the budget btw) then I will have the secret sauce to achieving all of my dreams.  Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the promotion that I can't figure out how I could NOT take this next class, which by the way guarantees that I will be making six figures this year regardless of the fact that I don't even have a credit card that goes up to the amount of tuition. And my heart drops when I get to the bottom of their sales page to find that this program is worth $30,000 but today it's on sale for ONLY $4,997 which you can make payments on. And on the flip side sometimes they don't cost hardly anything so I buy it hoping that it will be the panacea that sees me through. 

And if I can't take the course because of finances or time, I feel like I'm not quite good enough. Like if I just had that once piece of knowledge from this class I could succeed but without it I'm lost. What is really happening here? I mean normally I'm selective about what I take and read. And I space it out so I can absorb and really implement the lessons. 

So when I'm on a learning frenzy I have to pause and figure out why. Why do I feel like I don't know enough? Why do I feel like I can't figure it out organically? That I have to find an expert to tell me how? 

I'll tell you why - because I'm feeling uncomfortable.  I am pushing myself past my usual boundaries. I've jumped off of the cliff and I am trying desperately to grab hold of any vine I see swinging by. Magic life rafts that are surely worth the price of admission right? I'm in that space right now as I keep stepping towards building my business. I have butterflies every day - and it's awesome, and unbalancing and different and uncomfortable all at the same time. 

Which means I have to breathe. I have to look at each program for what it is. Dissect each promise made by these experts and see if there isn't something there that I already know. If it's a maybe or a yes or a 'I could probably figure that out myself', then I cross it off of the list as a benefit to me. And then I go one step further and try to figure out why I feel compelled to buy. What prompted me to sign up for this particular list? What did their sales page say? Look at all of their marketing - is it something I can learn from? If it compelled me to want to click the buy button is it something I can replicate? Where is everything on their site placed and do I like it? What about the colors, the feeling? How often did they touch me before asking for the sale? Etc... And once I look at the course as a business person, not as an emotional consumer and I STILL want to take the course then I know it's for real - not just because I am grasping for straws. 

The real lesson though is that by analyzing the product I think I have to have and then rejecting it because I feel I can do fine without it, not because I can't afford it or don't have the time, but because I can live without it, I actually feel more confident about myself. I start reinforcing the idea that I do have my own answers and I do trust myself, and if I choose to take a class then I know it's to INSPIRE me, NOT to save me.  There is NO class that can do that - not mine, not anyone's.  Learn to grow - not to survive.