Can you say no even when you really, really, really should say yes?
There's an event this weekend.
I already paid financially for it. I paid a lot financially for it actually.
It's the final event out of a series of events, the one that closes the container.
My friends will all be there, the ones who fill me with love.
I would have an amazing time there-of that I have no doubt.
And I'm not going.
And it feels soooo good!
Because I'm tired. I don't want to be around more people. I don't want to leave my hill. I don't want to make small talk or deep talk or any talk. I want to be alone. I want to be...normal in my new expanded way.
My heart is craving a period of decompression.
I am already filled to the brim with love. And inspiration. And laughter. And sorrow. And tears. And joy. And hugs.
Perhaps some of those things are such that you can never have enough of them. I'd argue that I feel like in this moment I have more than enough with overflow.
My body compressed, twitched, recoiled, stressed out when I thought of packing my bags and making the drive.
My body relaxed when I thought of not going. I could feel the tendrils of the 'should' and the 'have to' loosening around my heart, allowing it to be free.
No pressure to be anywhere that my heart chooses not to be.
I booked myself a decadent spa experience instead.
I'm going to watch my son play football.
I'm going to play with my granddaughter and take my daughter to Ikea for new furniture for her and her fiancé who will be coming home in 2 months.
I booked an intuitive reading with my spiritual advisor.
I have all day Friday open to do nothing but write.
I'm going shopping for a new desktop Mac-maybe
I'm for all intents and purposes having a totally 'normal' weekend.
And it feels AMAZING.
It wasn't a struggle for me know I was a 'no'. It was a struggle for my brain to accept it. But when it did my heart relaxed.
So feel into it...what can you say 'no' to? Something that you feel in your body but are doing anyhow... even if all evidence points to a 'yes', is it in your heart a no. And if so are you willing to release it?
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