What would happen if you stopped worrying about saying the right thing and just spoke?
What would happen if you stopped having sales conversations and simply coached?
What would happen if you stopped trying to market and learned to create clients intuitively and through your true spiritual, heart center?
What would happen if you created more space for yourself to create instead of creating more tasks to do?
What if you set out to create more deep connections rather than make more prospects?
What would happen if you did what came easy and still stretched into your edge?
What would happen if your entire business plan could be summed up in one sentence... the mission that wakes you up in the morning?
Received a powerful message last night from one of my clients... it was about lots of things but the impact on me was around vulnerability, and how inadvertently I'd been modeling to my clients how to be more vulnerable and therefore more powerful and authentic in the world.
See the greater parts of my success has always come from those moments when I feel the most naked. I bring that into each and every coaching call, into my groups, into my private sessions. I tell my clients about the times when I'm feeling less than, about the times I cry, about my own self doubt and the moments I'm not proud of.
And it empowers my clients. It makes them more resilient and strong. It gives them permission to do the same, to stop holding back, to stop worrying about appearing perfect or knowledgeable or guru-ish. It means they can say to a client "I apologize for I know I held back on you" or "I know exactly how you feel, for I was just there myself" because they've been on the receiving end of that and know how it's a game changer.
It seems like it would have the reverse effect, that my admitting to the chinks in my professional armor would lessen their image of me. It does the opposite... for the more human I am the more trust they can place in my hands.
And I hadn't really realized the full impact on me showing up as FULLY me had on my clients until I received that note.
Everyone promoting marketing for coaches talks about being more authentic, while showing glimmering photos of themselves with arms up in ecstasy with their life of ease and wealth... that's bull shit. We, ALL OF US, have moments of glory AND moments frustration. Why show only the authentic parts of ourselves that have been scrubbed clean? I was confused for years about that authenticity really means.
Until I realized that in those moments of vulnerability, that's where real magic was created. That's where real breakthroughs happened. That's where coaching transformed from sage advice to fully embodied transformation.
That's what I do... I didn't understand, but our purpose is driven by this need to draw out all parts of ourselves and feel unrestrained love for the shadow and the light. Want to be a more impact-filled coach? Take my hand. Be the YOU that is true.
Join me on a journey where you are celebrated and held and lifted... filling 2 groups right now for my lovely coaches. One for those on the beginning of their path and one for those who are well into their journey reaching for deeper levels of Mastery. We play this game of strengthening your inner world and allowing it to shine out... because that's the true path to your success, to the millions of shining lights of gold waiting to be claimed by you. Message me and we'll talk.
Let's find YOU and YOUR VOICE and share it with the world.
The only difference between the coaches that charge top top dollar and the coaches who don't is that they are willing to hear NO more than anybody. It's nothing personal, it's code for 'NEXT'.
Let's talk about the HELL NO. And more importantly the importance of releasing those NOs to make space for your HELL YES.
I sent my coach a message... I outlined 3 potential clients I was really excited about. They had visions and purposes that really inspired me and were PERFECT for my upcoming group program. Problem was, that each of them said 'hell yes, I just need to figure out how to come up with the money". My question truly was, how do I move forward with them? What message can I send them to really get them in action?
His response was frustrating as hell (true to form)... Until the money is in your account, they are not Yesses - they are NOs. That in order to create the hell yesses I had to create clearer agreements.
See the only difference between the coaches that charge top top dollar and the coaches who don't is that they are willing to hear no more than anybody. It's nothing personal, it's code for 'NEXT'
After a couple weeks of pouting and letting that sink in, I realized my hand was stuck in a monkey trap. My perfect clients were in that gourd and I grabbed onto the idea of coaching them... and then didn't want to let go. My energy was trapped around converting them instead of opening up and letting them go. I wanted them more than they wanted coaching.
So I opened up my hand and let go.
I acknowledged each of them for what they really were - HELL NOs.
I sent messages along the line of ""Either you're in or you're not. This isn't meant to be a pressure, instead this is meant to take the pressure off of you, because until you hit that Paypal button, you're saying hell no to working with me. And that's okay. This is an investment in yourself you might not be ready for now. But the minute you're ready to make this investment it's going to come back to you soooo powerfully."
Free of the entrapments of a "YES BUT..." allowed me to hop back into creation mode. I started filling up my calendar with more interviews, allowing me SPACE to call in the right person.
Want to hear the best part? The second I released them, literally ALL 3 signed up, money in the bank.
So where are you keeping your hand in the monkey trap? What can you release to make space for the magic to happen? It doesn't mean that what you release won't happen, but it does mean that you'll have energy for that or something better...
I've said it before... There are no shortcuts to mastery. There is only the path and your willingness to walk on it each day. AND it can be easier with the right team in your corner. You stumble less when someone is holding your hand. The path becomes smoother when you are given the space
to choose your steps with intention.
Show up fully
Learn to breathe deeply
Laugh at themselves
Are willing to deepen their intuition
Will be vulnerable and honest and open
Take actions that feel really right for them
Love learning and expanding their minds, heart and souls
Are wanting to create transformation in others and themselves
Have no problem with crying, laughing or the occasional swearing
Lead with their hearts and are blocked by their brains
Know that our work is priceless and value it accordingly
Believe that insight can happen in an instant and will be fully 'in the room' so they don't miss it
Build their businesses for THEM, their way
Walk the path of mastery
When you're really ready to invest and commit to your higher success, when you WANT MORE, nothing gets in your way. You do what it takes to get your business off the ground and you are willing to work on both your inner and outer games. Period… price no longer becomes an issue.
I know you keep getting messages of 'slow it down'. It comes up in so many ways in so many conversations and in so many ways of being. It is profound during your coaching. It is profound for the proposal.
It's also really profound during the CONNECT piece as well. Some of my groups have been struggling with how to connect with people - and many of the questions I receive from you guys taps right into how you feel uncomfortable approaching people, how you don't know who to connect with or how to come off without appearing to be smarmy (totally a word).
I remember about 12 years ago I went to my first networking event. Now understand that I'm a complete introvert AND was shy as a child as well. I got on the phone with a friend on my way to the meeting and literally dropped the F-Bomb 30 times on the way to the event because I was dreading it so much. At the time I was selling Reverse Mortgages, a product I truly believed in and personally saved hundreds of seniors from fixed income hell. I digress... I walked in and milled around. The first person to ask me what I did, well did she get an ear full! I talked for a good 15 minutes about the product handed her not one but several cards so it would be easy for her to make referrals. After she made her hasty escape I looked around for my next 'prospect'. I had a stack of cards in my hand and a room to educate... I was totally the person you'd most want to avoid in any room.
In those first few months of networking I was stunned to find out that no one ever called me from those events. I figured they weren't worth my time. I just didn't know what I didn't know.
Then a friend gave me the book 'How To Win Friends And Influence People'... okay a bit old fashioned but the essence was that people don't care about you, they care about themselves. You'll be the most interesting person in the room if all you did was get curious about others first and foremost.
So I started this different approach. I had a goal to be a collector of cards instead of a giver. I took on the role of an interested host, making sure connections were made and that I helped people feel at home. And my business grew. I actually started getting so many referrals that I had to bring on someone to help me. I stopped bringing my cards to meetings completely. I took on leadership roles within the groups. Shoot... I started a couple of my own networking groups -one just for women and one of which was centered around wine tasting that's still going on a decade later.
In other words... I slowed down my connecting. I didn't rush in to offer my services or give people my card.
Fast forward to my clients today and here's what was happening (then for me and now for them) - they were going into Step 1: CONNECT with their eyes and hearts and head already focusing on Steps 2-4. They were going into this piece already wondering how they would INVITE or deciding on the exact program they were going to PROPOSE.
Slow it down.
FOCUS on nothing BUT connecting. Strike up a conversation. Get curious about them. Don't be so anxious to give them a card and expect them to leap. Build a relationship. Be the person who looks them in the eye and sees them. Step 2 will come up naturally and organically if you really commit to connecting and digging and asking lots of questions and being more interested in the other person than you are about telling anything about you.
Welcoming The Sage into my book... the 9th aspect of ourselves. I find it a miraculous mirror of her when I coach, it's who comes into the room as I sit with my clients. Loving her beginnings >>
"There's nothing wrong with you.
You don't have some mysterious blocks to your success.
You're not doing anything wrong.
You're not incapable or unworthy or any of those other things you've been tellingyourself.
Perhaps there are some adjustments to be made.
Perhaps you're not seeing what's right there in front of you.
Because when I see you, I see someone who knows enough and is enough to create your biggest vision.
I see someone who is powerful and magical and awesome.
I see someone thoroughly worthy and capable.
Take my hand... walk with me.
See the possibilities through my eyes.
I lend you my courage, I give you my heart, I tell you things no one has ever told you, I hold sacred space for you
For I KNOW that YOU ARE ENOUGH
For I have lived lifetimes knowing you, learning the curves of your consciousness, being intimate with your heart's desires, holding the deep well of your soul... waiting and nudging it into the world - one shiny piece at a time
Nothing to fear.
For I have seen it all and I know it all and I believe in YOU."