I got stuck around page 50 and just couldn't move forward... all those glorious inspirations sitting on my computer and no idea how to get it to 200-300 pages.
So I reached out for support from my mastermind and my coach. How do I get unstuck on this book? I've been staring at the same pages for months and months and I just can't move forward.
Know what came up?
I was following another formula.
Those things burrow into your skin and infect things. I talk about being in full integrity with my message and then I uncover these little places where there's another formula to be let go of. Waving my wand of permission my own way this afternoon.
See I thought my book had to be a certain way... x many words and pages... to be considered publishable.
What a bucket load.
Do you know that I've started 16 books and not published one? All those words sitting there being unread because the books weren't 'finished'.
What if 50 pages is complete? What if my book can be whatever I choose it to be, whatever length and whatever content and whatever format? Shoot, I personally don't finish most of those 200 page self help books myself. I get the good stuff out up front and then move on... can my book just skip to the good stuff and be done?
And then there was the question that really got me to the core (and why I have a bad ass coach)... "Do you want to be a 'perfect' best-kept secret for ever, Stacy? Or an imperfect author making an impact on her readers' lives?"
No. I don't. My book could be published in less than 30 days, if I wanted.
No formula of what it should look like.
Just me releasing ME into the world for whatever it's worth.
Sitting down to be in editor mode today.
Keep looking for those formulas in your life people... they are there. And when you find them ask if they are valid and true for you.
My book - My rules.
"Screw the Formulas" lives for another day~! Viva la Revolution!!!!
I hereby grant you PERMISSION to build your business any damn way you please... no niches, ideal clients, formal packages, sales techniques, marketing funnels or any other rules implemented from the outside world - just you and your inner voice.
I PROMISE you that magic happens when you step into your own gifts and talents rather than into someone else's.
CAN YOU MEET 3 NEW PEOPLE EACH WEEK?
We hear that we need to connect with people but I can't tell you how many times I hear the question of how? How do I connect? Who do I connect with? You have to be willing to create your community. Find people you like speaking with. Find people who inspire you. Find people who seem interesting.
What if instead of saying you have to find hundreds, we focused on finding just 3 people a week...
This is an article by Derek Sivers entitled 'Meet Three new people each week'...
"One of the best books about the music business was called “Making It in the New Music Business” by James Riordan.
He suggested that, as an aspiring musician (or producer/agent/writer/etc.) - you make a point to meet three new people in the music industry every week. (And, as he says, not just burned-out guitarists.)
Imagine that! Three new people every single week - people that could actually help your career! In a year from now you'll have relationships with over 150 new people that are potential “lottery tickets” - and hopefully the interest is mutual. (Meaning - always keep in mind how YOU can help someone, not just how they can help you.)
The thing is, you have to *develop* these relationships. Put them on your A, B, or C list. Stay in touch. Go beyond the introduction, and really get to know these people, what they're looking for in business and life, what they're interested in, and how you can help them."
Without a community it is impossible to step into an ease and flow in your client creation. It doesn't have to look like anything formal, you don't have to start a group or a movement. You just need this foundational piece to make it easy on yourself moving forward.
And it starts by consciously reaching out and meeting 3 new people each week and developing that relationship. 13 years ago I was in the mortgage industry and I had a broker who used to REQUIRE us to send him 10 names of the people we spoke with that day about what we did. We had to email the bastard every day with our names or he'd release us of our contract.
The first couple of weeks weren't so bad... one luncheon and I'd bank away business cards to get to my 50 for the week (LOOPHOLE).
But then there were weeks where I didn't have anything going on and knew no one. So some days had me walking to a local shopping center and walking into businesses to hand them my card. Fuck it sucked...
AND within 6 months I was one of California's top producers in the particular loan I specialized in - which was by the way highly specific and not meant for the masses so 9/10 people I met would not be able to do business with me. I connected with them anyhow.
Because each and every day my goal wasn't to close loans or make deals. It was to reach out to 10 people every single day and build my network, my community. That was the business I was in - connecting.
The mortgage industry is vastly different from the coaching industry but I'll tell you something - some of those people I met are still on my email list, still loving and following and referring me even though I'm in a completely different arena now.
You cannot succeed without connecting with others. Period.
So I'm asking you again, can you meet 3 new people each and every week?
“Do you know what you are? You are a manuscript of a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face. This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you are already that.” -Rumi
Your life, your business. You are paving your own destiny. There are those who seek to tell you that if you do x-y-z your life will change, success will be found. They are false profits. Those of us who have the heart of a warrior know that the battle is not what is seen on the outside. Those seeking to read that divine letter we have written on the pages of our being, understand that our outer success is a reflection of our inner world.
If you have chaos inside, so shall it be outside.
If you have doubt inside, it will manifest with-out.
If you are constantly up leveling your inner world, your outer world will also up level.
Your success isn't found in a to-do list.
It's found when you really truly learn to trust your internal guidance system.
Are there external things you need to do to succeed? Absolutely. Those can be learned, especially when you have a teacher who helps you anchor them in your core, not just in your head space.
And with a well paved inner world, stepping into those things is easy. It feels right instead of hard.
That's where we will be playing. We will be creating from the inside out, building brilliance, casting aside the stories we've been holding onto - for your success, you are already that. We just need to polish off those mirrors and start fresh.
Are you ready?
"“Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.” -Rumi
I was talking with a gal the other day - she's been at coaching for 3 years, trying everything she can to build up her practice and was extremely frustrated. She'd just returned back to working and has decided to hang up her coaching hat for a while. Filled with tears and anger and self loathing we started talking about what she'd been doing.
For 3 years she took lots of classes and had lots of free sessions with coaches. She paid a ton of money to learn how to unblock her money issues, speak to sell, find a niche, build her list. Thousands and thousands of dollars spent on quick fixes.
And she ended up quitting.
So as we dug a little deeper this was the moment where I knew exactly what went astray - she'd never hired herself an actual coach. She'd bought programs and done the type of group coaching where you're in a room with hundreds of others receiving information. But no deep coaching.
In an effort to be truly transparent here, it really pissed me off. All that money that could have been spent on coaching, channeled into things that obviously didn't serve her. I don't know if hiring a coach would have been her saving grace, perhaps she wasn't meant for this path, and I still felt that frustration welling up inside of me.
How can I sell a product that I am not willing to invest in myself?
Coaching isn't an inexpensive thing, great coaching puts a dent in your pocket. The right coach changes everything for you. Why the hell wouldn't you invest in that?
I might sound angry.
THIS IS MY RANT.
I'm so sick and tired of seeing coaches fail... and I know not everyone has the funds to pay high fees but you gotta start SOMEWHERE. You have to feel what if feels like to reach deep into your pocket to pay for your dreams if you ever expect someone else to do the same with you.
This is a non-negotiable for me and for the other coaches I know who are really prospering.
I'm not sitting here in judgement of anyone's financial situation. AND I will tell you that when I hired my first coach I sold old electronics and did some consulting. When I hired my second coach I took a part time job to afford her. When I hired my third coach I took out a new credit card. For my spiritual coach I set aside money each week so I could go see her with cash in hand. And so on until I hired Rich and I worked my ass off for months to get enough clients just to cover his fee.
And it is 100% because of my constantly up leveling my personal coaches that I am the person you see before you. It was because for me my own personal development was more important than anything else. I am strong, powerful, loving, deeply connected to my inner wisdom, vulnerable and brave and most of all succeeding because of my unwillingness to go through life without someone backing me up or pushing me or SEEING me or holding my hand.
I don't NEED a coach. No one does... but why the hell wouldn't I have one if I am telling other people how life changing having one is?
I've never been able to afford my coach. I remember crying with relief when my first coach created a payment program for her $750 6-month journey because I didn't know where the money was going to come from and the payment plan made it possible.
And I committed myself to going into the program whether I had the money or not. I went on a treasure hunt, selling old phones and taking on a couple of projects that weren't ideal. It's not always the most responsible decisions that I make. Sometimes I made spending decisions that were not right for me, that were "wastes". That book writing program that cost $1000 (do you see a book from me yet?) or the hundreds of other things that I bought and paid for that I couldn't afford.
The thing is I bought those things because I thought I NEEDED them. I didn't. I needed someone who didn't need me to need them. They wanted me to fulfill my OWN needs.
When I got the RIGHT coach, everything changed. Not because I could afford him, not because my business took off and I was creating big launches or impressive business building awesomeness - but because of the invisible shifts that were taking place within me. The ease and grace that there is no way to quantify. No striving. More self trust.
It's not that I don't have rough days - I do.
It's just that I know who I am.
I know what I'm capable of.
I know that I have someone holding that higher vision of me even when I forget.
And that's more valuable than what I pay.
Because my dreams and my visions are worth more than I can afford. They are something I can't imagine NOT buying into, whatever the cost.
I've never been able to afford to pay for coaching. AND I will forever make those sacrifices because I refuse to forget who I AM and what I can BE.